20 Hilarious
Talk Show Headlines

  • "My fear of mustard and pickles is ruining my life!"

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    This poor girl is in a right pickle. Even pictures of the offending vinegar-drenched vegetables can freak her royally out.

  • “Who's telling the truth, my psychic or my twin sister?”

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    Usually we'd be tempted to suggest that the sister was the one to trust, but in this situation, a plastic crystal ball could be just as reliable.

  • “Which one of my children stole my bingo winnings?”

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    Drama, intrigue, tension, mystery, bingo – this Jeremy Kyle segment has all of the hallmarks of a spell-binding 15 minutes of daytime television., but whodunnit?

  • "I'm terrified of chickens!"

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    Maury tries to cure a women's fear of Chickens, also known as Alektorophobia, using what you could call an extreme method.

  • “You'd rather be a rapper than a boyfriend?”

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    Drama, intrigue, tension, mystery, bingo – this Jeremy Kyle segment has all of the hallmarks of a spell-binding 15 minutes of daytime television., but whodunnit?

  • “If you've stolen my jewellery, I'll make your dad disown you”

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    As far as threats go, this is a pretty long-winded one, but the victim of this alleged burglary has clearly thought it all through.

  • “How can I bring up your son on £1.50 a week?”

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    £1.50 might mean a pretty good haul of pick'n'mix but it's not much of a contribution to the upkeep of your child.

  • “How can my son be the father if you were pregnant when you met him?”

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    A very good question from a very shrewd woman, but could answer be immaculate conception? ...probably not.

  • “What happened at the back of the bus with my boyfriend?”

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    A poignant question for this habitual user of public transportation. We don't know which bus route these folk take, but we'd like to avoid it if possible.

  • "Married to your dad but I want you back."

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    We all love a silver fox, but if you're going to ditch your husband and marry his father, you'd better be bloomin' sure it's the right decision.

  • "Irresistible to women...Fiancé accept it's not my fault!"

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    Not so shocking, until you take a look at the eligible batchelor in question. This Casanova says he gets all the ladies because he's a "character". Well, so's Del Boy.

  • "I escaped from prison to be with you but am I the father of your baby?"

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    Not so much Prison Break as post-prison break up. This chap would probably have been happier back in the clink.

  • "I saw my husband on fire, can our marriage survive?"

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    Humorous title, sobering reality. Also, not the best way to put the sizzle back into your marriage.

  • "Is my mum trying to murder me?"

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    We've all thought this from time to time, but here, it's serious - and not just a case of an accidental salmonella supper.

  • "On our wedding day I found out you were cheating on me."

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    Here comes the bride, all guilty and in some serious hot water with her husband to be. 'Til death do us part.

  • "9 shows, 11 men later...will I finally find the father today?"

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    A serial chat show guest (still) in search of the man who fathered her baby. It's like Russian roulette, with paternity tests.

  • "You're not my girlfriend, you're my stalker."

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    Sometimes the lines get blurry and you confuse things like "hiding in his cupboard" with "snuggling up on the sofa together like a normal couple".

  • "I'm psychic, he's cheating."

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    This medium can perform hexes and has had a vision that her boyfriend is unfaithful - but does he deserve a kick in the crystal balls?

  • "How could my dad dump me on the side of the road?"

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    Another sad story, courtesy of a father who couldn't cope with, well, anything ever. Oh dear.

  • "You slept with 55 girls!"

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    Sometimes we all feel a little insecure. And then sometimes we feel insecure because our boyfriend has slept with 55 other women...

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