Does Your Friendship Need a Tune-Up?

We have been told time and again the importance of checking up on our romantic and familial relationships and giving them a tune-up if something’s not right. It is crucial because our relationships, our priorities and our life goals are always changing, and checking in regularly with our partner and our children, one-on-one and in a group, ensures everyone is still on the same page and aware of each other’s shifting points of view.

So many articles are written on the subject that we can lose sight of the other important relationships in our lives – our friendships

Lots of things can cause friendships to seemingly fall by the wayside, like busy lives or demanding relationships. Our very best friends will be able to cope with extended periods without contact, and that is one of the things that makes friendships so unique and valuable. Still, if you haven’t spoken in a while, if you haven’t hung out and you honestly don’t know what is going on in your friend’s life, it may be time to give your friendship a bit of a tune-up.

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Before the tune-up, think about what you get or got from the friendship

It may be that in the hustle and bustle of life, you let your friendship slip down the list of priorities. That happens, and in many ways is inevitable, but take some time out to think about what you value about your friend and your friendship. Is your friend always good fun? Is she or he supportive and always seems to have the right advice? Does she call you out when you deserve it? Is she loyal and dependable? Most importantly, is the friendship a great balance of all of the above?

Just reminding yourself of all the things she brings to your life could be just the push you need to reconnect and pick up where you left off.

Plan the tune-up by reaching out to your friend

When you are ready to reach out to your friend, just get in touch. As long as you don’t have unresolved issues, your friend should be thrilled to hear from you, no matter how long it has been.

Just make sure that you’re thinking good thoughts. It can be easy to justify not calling her, since she’s not calling you, either, but that’s not helpful. Think instead about what you enjoy doing with her and what you both get out of the friendship.

When you do get in touch, have some good suggestions of things to do and a couple of days and times that you have free. Hang up or end the emails when you have firm plans in place.

The tune-up: hanging out and reconnecting

When you do get together, make sure you have some time just to reconnect and catch up. Be sure that you ask about her and what’s going on in her life. You need to re-establish how important your friend is to you, and giving her time to talk about herself, listening to her and being interested in what she says will show her this.

Try to make firm plans to meet up again before you part. You may need to mention this to your friend when you are making initial plans, so both of you will have your calendars with you. That way, you’ll know there won’t be such a long gap between when you speak again.

 

Do you have a friend you know you need to get in touch with? How are you going to show her what she means to you? What do you do to stay in touch when life gets really busy?