Put the Passion Back in Your Relationship

Do you feel like your life is in a bit of a rut? We can relate. Everyone gets in a funk or loses excitement for their lives from time to time. It can seem like there’s nothing you can do, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. With this series of articles, we will explore first how to put the passion back in your relationship, and in the next week, we will also look at how to put the passion back in your work and put the passion back in your free time.

It is important to note that this article series is about bringing excitement back into your life, but it’s not about treating depression. Depression cannot be helped with these tips, and if you think you may have it, please talk to your GP or get help from organisations like Depression Alliance or Depression UK.

If all you really need is a little push to get your excitement back, then read on. With these tips, you’ll be able to put the passion back in your life.

Put the passion back in your relationship

One of the first places we lose our passion is in our long-term relationships. The heady buzz of young love has passed, and we wonder how to regain some of that early excitement. Here’s how you can do just that.

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Bring the sexy back, even if you have to pencil in a time for it.

Many people think that passionate moments should be spontaneous, but as we get busier and feel more run-down, it’s hard to find the time and energy to be spontaneous. That is why most experts advise couples to schedule time to be intimate. It might seem like scheduled romance is an oxymoron, but in fact it ensures that you put time aside to just focus on you and your partner’s needs.

Make time for date nights, where you focus only on each other.

Don’t talk about kids, work or other responsibilities; focus on your hopes and dreams, fears, views on current events and pop culture – all the things you haven’t discussed since you first started to get to know each other. The point of date night isn’t necessarily to end up back in bed (though it certainly can). It is to reconnect with your partner on an emotional level, like you did when you first met.

Make sure you are contributing to the relationship.

Contributing answers to problems, not just complaints. Contributing your real thoughts, instead of asking your partner to read your mind. Contributing to helping your partner with their problems, not just focusing on your own. When you and your partner start contributing equally, you will find your friendship has renewed, and your romantic relationship will likely follow. Remember that it is okay to expect your partner to do more, if most of the effort is coming from your side. Just be sure to tell them that in clear terms when you are calm, and avoid accusational language or tones.

Talk to each other, and actively listen to one another.

Whether you are fighting about money or just discussing the finale of Downton Abbey, you need to practice talking and listening to each other actively. Talking is usually the easier of the two, as long as you aren’t afraid to voice your opinions. Listening is harder, though. Let your partner talk, and don’t interrupt. Don’t keep track of what you want to say. Instead, really listen to what your partner is saying. For more serious discussions, repeat what you’ve understood them to be saying, so they feel they are getting their point across, and then offer your point of view. This tactic of really listening and responding really ramps up the respect and communication in a relationship, which will really make the two of you feel more in sync and connected.

 

With these tips, you should feel more empowered to put the passion back in your relationship. Which one of these do you do to keep the spark alive?