Bingo is better than sex

I was asked very recently by an old friend to describe the euphoria of playing bingo. She has never been sold on bingo. I have tried to convert her, but reader – what can you do? Either you get it or you don’t, you know? There is little middle ground with our beloved sport.

The only way I could try and convey that moment when you are sat down with your card, either on screen or in a bingo hall, was to use sexual terminology. Am I smoking the good stuff, I hear you ask! No, not my cup of tea – I, soberly and completely lucidly believe that bingo is, probably on a good day – when you are in the running for big money – better than sex.

And I don’t doubt that many of you reading will think I must be insane, but for those who have experience the rush, the thrill, the excitement and sheer euphoria of playing bingo, perhaps you’ll agree with me. I suspect, however, that we will be in the minority. Regardless, for me, at least, bingo is better than sex, and I am not embarrassed to say so.