Put the Passion Back in Your Free Time

In the third and final part of our series exploring how to put the passion back in your life, we look at how to put the passion back in your free time (we previously looked at how to put the passion back in your relationship and how to put the passion back in your work).

Sometimes all you need to put the passion back in your life is to put it back in your own “me time”. Do these things, and you may find you’ve got enthusiasm for every part of your life.

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Meditate for as little as 15 minutes every day.

Meditation, where you clear your thoughts and just focus on something like your breath, will give you the time you need to reflect and relax. Meditation will give you a chance to let go of negative feelings, as well as the space in your head to think clearly about the next point.

Ask yourself what you love to do.

What you love more than anything else? What did you love to do 10 or 20 years ago? What have you always wanted to do, but never did? Write down ten things you love to do or want to do, and try to find ways to incorporate those things into your everyday life. Make it a real priority to put aside time every week to do these things. It is crucial that you value these things as much as you do your responsibilities as a partner, parent or employee, because these things are  going to help you feel excited about life again. That in turn will influence how you feel about all parts of your life.

Do the opposite of what you feel like.

Often, feeling down or bored is a matter of habit. So if you find yourself feeling off constantly, do the opposite of what you are doing. Take a walk when you feel like shutting yourself in your home. Start drawing loopy doodles when you feel uninspired. Force yourself to call a friend if you feel like being antisocial. Like the advice above on faking it until you make it, doing the opposite of what you currently feel will trick you into feeling the opposite of what you currently feel. That could be the difference between being in a funk all day and feeling bright and happy again.

Do something unexpected.

Take a class that sounds like fun but is totally different from anything you would normally do. Go see a show or concert that you wouldn’t normally see. You can even do something as simple as trying a new restaurant. You just need to break out of the routine to feel the benefit of this. You may discover something new about yourself, or you might get a great anecdote about that time you tried a new restaurant and it was terrible. Either way, you will eventually get something good out of the experience.

Play like you used to as a child.

Try finger painting, have a water balloon fight or build something with Lego. Try to get back in the mindset you had as a child, when the world was fascinating and playing was a normal part of your interaction with the world. Your sense of wonder may return, or just doing something so familiar may give you a sense of calm. It can even bring you closer to your children, if they are young enough. Whatever the benefits you experience, playing around like you used to will help you rediscover your childhood excitement at life’s possibilities.

Seriously, try exercising.

This seems like a fix-all for everything, doesn’t it? But it really does boost endorphins, improves mood and makes us feel better. Don’t feel like you have to torture yourself to get the benefit, though. You can – and indeed should – enjoy exercising. The NHS Choices website has a quiz to help you figure out which sports you would likely be good at and which ones are available in your area. Options include skateboarding, judo, trampolining, dance and much more, so you are likely to find at least one activity you’ll enjoy. Then you’ll get the life-affirming benefits of exercising without the torture.

Give yourself permission to want what you want.

This is crucial, especially for women, who are often encouraged to be self-sacrificing to keep the peace. You are allowed to enjoy your free time. You are allowed to want to eat somewhere in particular. You are allowed to have opinions that are regarded as valid and valuable by your friends and family. You are just as worthy of being put first as everyone else in your family, so go ahead and insist that everyone do what you want every once in a while. And once you start getting what you want more often, you will find yourself happier with your relationship and your life.

 

With that, you should be able to bring the passion back to all parts of your life. But what do you do in your spare time to keep the passion in your life?