10 Insanely Manly Gadgets

Manliness is not just a checklist of beards, rough hands and plaid. It is a state of being. And whether you climb mountains, repair machines or survive impossibly life-threatening situations, you want gadgets that can get the job done as well as you can. These 10 insanely manly gadgets embody manliness so perfectly, they’ll put hairs on a doll’s chest.

Looftlighter

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Do you want to start your barbecue off with lighter fluid, fire starters and matches? Or do you want to superheat the air around your charcoal until it bursts into flame? Technically it’s your choice, but you know what the right answer is.

The tactical seat cover

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Make your car a mobile base with this tactical seat cover. Store all your manliest essentials, so you can survive any situation, from the zombie apocalypse to the traffic on the M25.

Rolson 4-way service key

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Perfect for opening service cabinets, bleeding radiators and opening stopcocks, this handy device is one of the most versatile ways to use chemically blackened hardened steel. Which is the manliest of all household materials, after all.

The Sub

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Want to pull your own fresh pint of lager whenever you want? This cool device keeps your beer (itself packaged in aluminium bullets they call Torps) at a frosty 2°, and it stays fresh for up to 15 days. That means you can have a pint whenever you want, without having to go to that trendy hipster gastropub down the road.

World travel radio

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Wherever you are in the world, you need a radio. You never know when you’ll need to tune into the emergency services broadcasts, or when you’ll just want to get a taste of local music, and frankly your iPod just won’t do. This portable, battery powered radio will make sure you can tune in, whenever and wherever your adventures take you.

Cat Battle Armour

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Your cat already has a killer’s instinct and a thirst for the blood of its enemies, so why not turn that to your advantage? When you ride into battle, make sure your cat is as well protected as you are, so it can keep you company as the two of you leave a trail of destruction in your wake.

Hole Punch

You can’t turn your manliness off and on any more than a fish can stop swimming. So make sure you can express your manliness in constructive ways around the office. Change the water cooler tank with one hand. Break down cardboard boxes with precise karate chops. And when you need to punch holes in documents, take that literally with this hole punch.

Track Trucks

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How do you make an off-road vehicle more rugged? American Track Trucks looked at that problem and said put rubber tracks on it. Now your truck can get you everywhere you want to go, from the iciest peaks to the swampiest swamps, whilst making every other vehicle look like a Smart Car.

Secret Agent alarm clock

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If you hate mornings, you’ll love this alarm clock. Why? Because you get to shoot morning in its stupid face, that’s why.

The Bulletproof Suit

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The Bulletproof Suit – because you’re manly enough to get shot at, but you’re smooth enough to want to survive assassination attempts with style.

 

These insanely manly gadgets are so manly, we know you’re ready to wrestle sharks and throw henchmen over balconies. But before you run off into that burning building to rescue all those puppies and kittens, let us know: which of these manly gadgets are you going to take with you?